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Today President Bush signed into law, the landmark Pest Control bill. This new piece of legislation will effectively end mankind's age old problems with common pests such as roaches, ants, and other pesky bugs.A beaming President Bush was quoted as saying "Ahhh couldn't wait to sign this bill". In theory, this new type of pesticide control will be environmentally friendly according to White House aides. It is based on a new type of insecticide that is "state of the art" according to an un-named source.
An ecstatic Mrs. Bush was overheard saying "It's about fucking time". "I know I don't do any of the cooking around here, but if I see one more ant or roach, the shit is going to hit the fan". "I'm tired of the chicken and biscuits being polluted with bugs". "If these critters ruin one more of Bubba's (President Bush) dinner's I'm on the warpath". "One more thing. If Jenna don't lay off the sauce, she's doing the cooking for now on".
The new law will go into effect as of today. A veritable feast is planned for tonights White House dinner.
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2/06/01